Buddhism says that suffering can and should be reduced, yet adventurers can’t get enough of it. What can we learn about the human condition from the stark contrast between radical and routine suffering?

1. FOMO is optional
2. All suffering is interconnected
3. Inner suffering is optional
4. Choosing your suffering is a transcendent privilege

FOMO is optional

Last winter I was planning a trip to Hyalite, Montana. I was stoked on ice climbing and mixed climbing. I was aspiring to lead my first waterfall ice. I loved drytool training nights with my friends. It would have been my second out-of-state ice climbing trip after recently visiting the incredible ice park in Ouray, Colorado. I was having a blast climbing and filming other climbers.

If you’re interested, check out this icy hype trailer I made of some fun Ouray climbing from that trip. I hope it’s able to convey some of our passion for the sport.

But what I never expected on the morning of the flight to Hyalite was to wake up sick.

And even worse, I was only just sick enough to still consider potentially flying.

Deep in consideration of the risks, I wracked myself with indecision, preemptive regret, second-guessing, grief, and disappointment. Then I decided to stay home.

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Sitting alone then when my friends were taking off I eventually realized what I had to do next and what it meant. I rested, recovered, and I cheered them on from the sidelines.

I still hope to visit Hyalite some day, but now I see clearly that what I miss out on is not in my control. We’ll never climb everything. We can’t control the weather, and we can’t control when we get sick. We should celebrate when conditions align, because they’re never guaranteed.

All suffering is interconnected

I made a sacrifice to help keep my climbing partners healthy, keep my fellow travellers healthy, keep the community of Hyalite healthy, and prevent myself from getting stuck sick and alone in a far-flung location.

By choosing to stay home, I made a decision that would hopefully increase the overall vibes of the world. I woke up and made the best decision given the circumstances. Considering I made the best decision for everyone, why should I have been sad at all?

I achieved my real goal, stepping the world towards a more perfect suffering. Keeping our communities healthy. And I did my part, all I could do, to help the dream live on for those folks of us bold and lucky enough to have the chance to to express themselves through beautiful movement in the alpine.

Inner suffering is optional

I should have been sad because my hopes and dreams were crushed.

I missed adventuring and I missed my friends.

Yet happiness and contentment are inner muscles within our own control. With proper and sufficient training we can achieve the ability to exercise them at will, whenever we want. I had new choice in front of me: Be sad about missing the flight, or not. In that moment I somehow had the ability to simply chose to not be sad.

Instead I was happy that my friends would get the chance to climb sweet blue ice soon. I reflected fondly over our excited packing together beforehand and looked forward to the next time. I awaited receiving pictures and videos from the trip to like, comment, and cheer them on. I was especially grateful for our trip leader Jess covering the cost of my missed flight. Thank you Jess!

Every day we swim in an ocean of interconnected causes and effects. Our identity need not rely on dependent or uncontrollable outcomes. We’re not any less ourselves if we miss a flight and we don’t need to grasp at hopes and dreams to achieve contentment. We can still have hopes and dreams of course, but we can identify with the aspiration and attempted progress towards them and what they represent instead of the fickle temporary situations of reality we often find ourselves in often through no fault of our own choices.

We have little control over external conditions or our own mind in the short-term, but we can observe everything and simply try our best to steer the ship going forwards, no more or less. Consider the present moment and react our best to meet it. Train our minds to better prepare for the potential future outcomes that may or may not ever arrive.

Choosing your suffering is a transcendent privilege

Most people exist for most of the time weighed by suffering from circumstances out of their control.

It’s an unusual privilege to have the ability to choose our own adventures and suffering. When we get the chance to bear weights heavy enough to force our growth, we should be grateful for the opportunity allowed by our positions and conditions.

We should strive to reduce the unnecessary bad suffering of the world for all beings so that more of us might be able to take on some more unnecessary good character-building suffering for the benefit of us all.

You never know what you might learn half-way up an icy sheer rock face, and you never know what you might learn from your own thoughts in your head, sitting in your bedroom alone once your preconceived notions fly away.

Remember that the mountains teach us the way down is even more important than the way up.

Everything is part of the journey.

Sometimes the journey starts earlier, takes longer, or has more steps than you at first expected.

And sometimes the most profound ascents happen when we never leave the ground.

Thank you reading!

May peace be with you and may you find what you’re searching for.

–Simon Hokesen, June 2025